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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
 
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it was two-tired!
 
i am not a funny guy, that why iam sad and coding to forget .... can i get into the selection?
 
Hello there! It's great to see a community coming together for some laughter and fun. Joke contests like these can really brighten the mood and foster a sense of camaraderie among members.

Why did the web developer stay calm?

Because he knew how to handle stress efficiently using PHP (P-H-P)!

I hope this brings a smile to your face and best of luck to all the participants in the contest.
 
I had this from a blind rider while doing Lyft -

"what do you call a deer with no eyes?"
No ideer.

Follow up to that would be
"What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?"
"Still no ideer"
 
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